Monty P. The Bonsai Tree

Hi. I’m Monty, Nice to meet you. May I describe myself? I am 27 inches tall, I weigh 14 pounds, including my container, and I am 14 years old. I am a Podocarpus bonsai tree. That may not be a big deal to you, but it is to the family that takes care of me. When you are a bonsai tree you better have someone around that likes you or you might not last very long.

You see, my ability to take care of myself is somewhat limited. Trees, after all, aren’t very mobile so I can’t go to a store and buy the stuff I need. And I can’t trim my branches myself which I need every once in a while so I can remain looking cool. I can’t water myself and I can’t trim my own roots. Not that I would trim my roots even if I could. It’s scary. Can you imagine what it’s like to be yanked out of your pot, have someone completely remove the soil form your roots rendering them totally naked, then ruthlessly cutting away maybe two-thirds of these precious life giving arteries and unceremoniously throwing them aside, like it’s no big deal? At least they have the decency to repot me in nice fresh soil that feels soooo nice around my tender roots. Let me tell you that is a harrowing experience and I never know when it’s coming. Bam! All of a sudden it’s on me. Well, that’s not why I’m writing this story. I’m not sure why I even brought it up.

Most of the time I live outdoors. I watch the kids play, the birds fly overhead, the grass grow and the fish swim by. One particular time, a couple of years ago I was kicking back enjoying a sunny afternoon when a neighbor came over to ask Gina (that’s the wife of my owner) for some advice. Gina is good at that (good looking too) and she likes that kind of stuff. Apparently the neighbors just bought a bonsai tree for themselves. Wow! A new bonsai tree right next door. Maybe I could meet this new tree. Maybe it could come over sometimes and spend the night. My head would have been spinning if I had a head.

I found out that the tree was a Chinese Elm. And it was originally grown in China. Oh frubbles. It probably can’t speak English. Try being a tree sometime next to another tree and not speak the same language. Boring! Well Gina and Sandy, the neighbor, talked for a while then they went over to Sandy’s house to look at the Chinese Elm. Wait a minute. Nobody asked me if I wanted to go. Well I can not believe this whole thing. Trees have feelings too you know. Apparently Sandy is NOT a tree hugger or she would know about tree feelings.

To be continued